It is Friday morning and I am not at work, I am sat on the sofa wrapped in my dressing gown and I feel content, for the first time in a long time. Why? Because yesterday I did something selfish, something for me. I denied myself this luxury for a while. I am a giver, in everything I do.
In the last few years, I never allowed myself to spend money on anything else but necessities – food, some clothes (mainly from charity shops), low class make up and cosmetics and pretty much 0 time at the beauty salon. I saved my money to treat my parents to things they never had, to buy Matt 12 presents for Christmas and do loads of other things for other people, but not me.
I kept finding excuses not to treat myself and for some reason I was always thinking and expecting someone else (and by this I mainly mean Matt) would get my hints and buy me the DKNY handbag I wanted or that M.A.C lipstick in bright red. But he never did. And this created tension between us and I was always miserable and felt unappreciated. But it was not him who did not appreciate me, it was me.
It was only recently that I realized this and how important it is to be selfish. Okay, maybe not all the time but definitely most of the time. The key to happiness is realizing that no one owes you anything and you are the one responsible for your happiness – not your partner, not your family, not your friends. The only person that will ever truly appreciate the things you do for them is you.
Do things that you enjoy doing, feed your interests and your hobbies, invest in what you love,don’t be afraid to say no to things you don’t want to do and look after yourself.
What did I do for myself that made me realize this? I invested in this blog and my love for photography- I bought a new camera – Canon EOS M10. And I felt so light and happy when I did it, no sense of guilt, no regrets, just pure pride and sense of appreciation that nobody else can give you expect you.